This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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