I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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