Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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