I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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