if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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