I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize