I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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