You really coming over, don't trick.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
