Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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