oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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