Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
