New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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