Sry I called you an 8
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
