Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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