dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
