If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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