If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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