Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
