So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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