Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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