Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
