Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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