He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
