Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
wow bdsm is so cute
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
