ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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