i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
ttyl tear gas
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
