What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
