My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
