He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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