Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sext me about skeletons
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
