I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
