Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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