my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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