So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
