oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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