Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
