he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
