Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
