it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
