Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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