Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
