Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize