We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize