glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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