somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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