This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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