Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
