I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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