He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
