More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize