the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
