If that was your dad, he is hot
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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