i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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