So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize