we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
