you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
