Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
my shit smells like andre
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
