discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
