What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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