I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Watching her eat just hurts me
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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